alright.
one of my most main triggers for the past like FOREVER
has, been,
the feeling of failure to sombody else.
so if i get in trouble and get yelled at it's a trigger.
bad grade? trigger
bad score? trigger
bad hair? MAJOR TRIGGER
(hahahaha, yeah i get triggered when i cant find a brush)
but i think when people yell at me and tell me what im doing wrong or what i need to do is when i get triggered the most just because i dont know how to regain control over myself
maybe?
im not totallly sure yet. anywaysanywaysanyways
for instance.
J.
J is very jelous. anything i do involving another boy i dont hear the fucking end of it
he begins to get mad and say things along the lines of "why the fuck would you do that?? you know what. just do what you want."
which obviouly means theres something he really would rather me do
but he wants me to make the decision but either way is the wrong decision with him so i cant win
at all
ever
and so the starving continues
now do not get me TWISTED
he is not the reason for my eating disorder
i had it much before i met him
all i am saying is his yelling is not helping with how nicely i feel about myself.
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