What is recovery?

Is it just the gaining weight of my body
Gaining the periods back
I notice that my doctors often call me a recovered anorexic.
BUT
To me, I don't feel recovered. The only difference is a stabalized weight.
I still struggle looking in the mirror with body dysmorpheia from time to time.
Fear foods are starting to impact my life once again.and I'm trying to eat alot more than I would like but its getting hard.
Even today I'm looking at myself and I've gained a little weight again over getting my period soon but its hard cause I feel as though each of my limbs is a bloated balloon.
Maybe if I eat the same thing every day at the same time I'll be fine with myself.
Im not sure. I'm still trying to figure it all out.
Me, my disorder.
I need to get things together, for myself, my future and my boyfriend.
But what's really scary is its easier said than done.