Hi guys(:
And yes I mean boys!
Haha just kidding, I have a boyfriend. He's amazing, kind of saved my life. More than once. But he doesn't know that.
ANYWAYS.
I decided I need a warning label before anyone dates me just so they know what they're in for. Sooooo, here it goes.
::WARNING::
The person you are about to date has an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety. Anxiety and depression don't always play a big part and you won't see them as often as you will the eating disorder. Every cup of coffee, tea, or broth is my eating disorder saying hey what's up. Every minimalized low Cal, healthy snack is my eating disorder saying HEY, YOU CANT PASS OUT YET, IM NOT DONE WITH YOU.
There are days where I will love myself, and days where I will look in the mirror and cry. But 98% of my days are spent in the middle of that spectrum. You will know I'm having a bad body image day if I : refuse to wear jeans, won't drink water, want to cook and bake for everyone else, blank out more than often, look lost, stare at food, Complain of a migraine / stomach pains, or can't even cuddle with you because my subconscious tella me IF YOU LAY DOWN YOU'RE LAZY, IF YOU CAN'T EVEN STAND FOR A WHILE HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO REACH GOAL ONE AGAIN. I do NOT binge often, so do not let me, even if I try. I want to cook and clean and be perfect for you.
And don't forget, if I say I love you. Its soooo real, that if you sat me down to eat, I would push through it because that's what you mean to me. And I would eat it all, even if you said I didn't have to.
And most importantly, you found me at a bad time. I'm still trying to figure out who I am and who I could be without this eating disorder. You've caught me in the middle of that, and if you're willing to stick around then, you're amazing and if not. Then don't worry, i understand .
This challenge?
tell that one person, thank you.
They don't have to know why.
Just let them know, you are thankful for them. I'm going to tell my boyfriend in the morning.
No comments:
Post a Comment